Morning MAGA – 21 Feb 2017 – Globalists vs Patriots – Also, Surprise Interview No.4: Nancy Pedozy


Morning MAGA – 21 Feb 2017 – Globalists vs Patriots – Also, Surprise Interview No.4: Nancy Pedozy

♪┏(°.°)┛┗(°.°)┓┗(°.°)┛┏(°.°)┓ ♪

Up and at 'em, you beautiful bastards! Yet another fine day has dawned upon our Trump Timeline, in the greatest nation on earth. So here's to wishing our BIGLY President Donald Trump a productive week, as he continues to inspire greatness amidst a shower of liberal tears. I gotta admit, it still feels soooo good being able to say those magic words: President Donald Trump! PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP! Ooooh, does that hurt, Leftists? I bet it hurts…

We have much to celebrate, from bringing our jobs back to the USA and lowering tax rates, to building our wall and putting an end to that godawful disaster known as Obamacare. However, during this moment of joy, let us spare a thought for those nations abroad who are so much less fortunate than us. And let us give thanks that we do not live among them!

  • We are not stuck in Sweden, the RAPE CAPITAL of Europe, where Somalis and other Muslim invaders rape and murder without consequence. Sweden is burning right now, folks, and the only people who seem "surprised" by this are the MSM. Who would have thought, right? I mean, it's not like the rapefugees stream their rape sessions live over Facebook or anything. Oh, wait…

  • We're not in France, where apparently the only requirement for violent looters to trash a city is for a minority to make a false claim (without a shred of evidence) to local FAKE NEWS outlets that he was "raped" by the evil white policemen. Yup, that's all it takes in the globalist world, folks.

  • We're thousands of miles away from Germany, also known as Cuck Central, where George Soros influences every EU agenda while his sponsored AntiFa thugs continue to spread violence, racism and hatred. Sure, he might have the US media in his pocket, but not our president. Not this time, Georgie!

That said, the important thing to remember in all this is that these divisions have nothing to do with left versus right, nor conservative versus liberal. There is only one battle going on here, folks, and that is GLOBALISTS versus PATRIOTS. Patriots like you and I, standing up against corporate fat-cats who wish to employ Marxism in order to perpetually enrich themselves. But hey, don't take it from me when there's someone far more qualified than I am to elaborate on this fuckery.

 


Interview time! So, in keeping with our Q&A sessions involving the sneakiest sneks in America, we have thus far brought you:

Well, today we're going one step further to bring you the woman who is most definitely not the Minority Leader of the House of Representatives… That's right, this is not the Nancy Pelosi interview, bitches.

Surprise Interview No.4: Not-Nancy Pelosi

The_Donald: Welcome to our domreddit, Congresswoman. Please, take a seat…

 

Not-Nancy Pelosi: What, because I'm a woman I just HAVE to sit? I need to park my ass down, like a good little housewife, huh?

 

The_Donald: Well, that started out entirely as expected. Ma'am, you are more than welcome to stand, if you so prefer?

 

Not-Nancy Pelosi: That's okay, sweetie. I'm just fucking with you! I'd love to take a seat.

 

The_Donald: Um… okay then. You're not normally known for your sense of humor, so that certainly comes as a welcome surprise.

 

Not-Nancy Pelosi: Well honey, at this stage of my life, every time I come is a welcome surprise!

 

The_Donald: Oh, stop it you! If Bill Clinton ever reads this, you might acquire a new stalker.

 

Not-Nancy Pelosi: Hah! Could you blame him, after being married to that miserable old wombat? Gosh, listen to me! You're going to ensure I stay anonymous throughout this interview, right?

 

The_Donald: Absolutely! Now, what do you say we talk politics for a moment?

 

Not-Nancy Pelosi: I say politics gives me a lady-boner. So let's get on with it! But first, tell me, are you a fan of Basic Instinct?

 

The_Donald: The movie? Wait, where are you going next with th- OH GOD! Jesus Christ. How will I ever unsee that? Ma'am please, let's never do that again! I beg of you.

 

Not-Nancy Pelosi: Oh, you're no fun! Pocahontas said you'd be up for a party, though I do concede that she might have been drunk at the time…

 

The_Donald: Lord, give me strength. Alright Congresswoman, let's move on from this as quickly as possible. Would you mind elaborating on the reasoning behind the Democrats' stalling of the president's cabinet appointments? Does it simply boil down to spite?

 

Not-Nancy Pelosi: Well, no, there's no spite intended. It is merely a case of being thorough in order to ensure that President Bush has prioritized the best interests of the American people.

 

The_Donald: Um…

 

Not-Nancy Pelosi: Fuck. I did it again, didn't I?

 

The_Donald: Never you mind, ma'am. We all make mistakes. Next question: With so much evidence surrounding allegations of pedophilia among Democrat officials, there appears to be a direct correlation between the interest in such crimes and the globalist-slash-media attacks on public personalities such as PewDiePie and Milo Yiannopoulos. Are these simply distraction techniques employed to fool the public into overlooking the real issues involving DNC officials?

 

Not-Nancy Pelosi: Look! Behind you! It's a giant, er… moth thing!

 

The_Donald: Wait, don't leave! Where the hell is she running off to?

 

–Interview terminated–

We offer our sincerest thanks to Not-Nancy Pelosi for sharing her insight into the inner workings of the DNC. Also, we'd like to offer our condolences to u/IFIFIFOKIEDOKE, who was seated front and center during the, um, uncrossing incident, and hasn't stopped crying since.

 


President Donald Trump's Schedule for Today

  • 10:30 AM – Receive daily intelligence briefing – Oval Office

  • 12:30 PM – Lunch with Tom Barrack – Presidential Dining Room

  • 4:00 PM – Receive a National Security Council briefing – Situation Room

  • 6:30 PM – Dinner with Vice President Pence – Presidential Dining Room

 


WikiLeaks Spotlight

One of our busiest patriots, u/SA4Trump, has been doing a lot of digging through Wikileaks info as of late, and has uncovered some interesting details we'd like to get more eyes on:

Nice work, 'pede! We appreciate your digging through these leaks for the benefit of our users.

 


Would You Rather…

  …team up with based Mike Rowe, as the pair of you work together to build a section of The Wall?

  OR

  …get to be the cop who mans the water cannon, when BLM rioters are officially identified as domestic terrorists?

 

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